Om Shanti

Am now half eaten by moquitos and itching like crazy. Funny how has soon as one obstacle or misery in your life disappears, it is immediately replaced with a new one (why I am here, learning how to replace all miseries and obstacles with pure infinite bliss. I mean how hard can that really be. If I don't feel infinite bliss when going back home I'm asking for a full refund...:). Anyway, sidetracking a bit. Back to obstacles.

So first obstacle for meditation is of course knees that are not used to be crossed that many hours a day. Knees are now fine. Then hips start aching. Bend legs back and forth to finally manage to get both behind head and hipache disappears. Then comes cramps in feet after an hour of sitting in meditation pose. Still struggling with that and have to stretch legs every once in a while but getting better. Will come home and suggest to local courthouse that we have courtsessions sitting on floor with crosslegs. Maybe start by chanting to get everyone in good mood? Maybe not. Anyway, after sitting position comes the bloody thoughts that now are really bad. I mean I kind of managed calming them down but the last two days I actually think that my mind has been possessed and have no longer any control over it. I loose my keys ten times a day. I  put my books down, turn around and walk away completely forgetting about them. I can barely remember my name (and will maybe be getting spiritual name at end of course which will make things even more complicated). I am just not functioning at all. (apparently this is normal for week three into the course and week four is supposedly called the week of bliss. I'll believe that when I see it. So you can imagine what meditation goes like. And then after the trillion thought waves that apparently are very obstinate, because the more you tell them not to think the more they are inclined to do so (think I might try the reverse tomorrow. Tricking this being who has possessed my brain). And now mosquitobites, that are killing me. Can't concentrbate, just want to scratch. Start scratching. Want to scratch more. Starts hurting. Still want to scratch more. Starts bleeding. Think that maybe better to stop scratching but only because of pouring blood. Still want to scratch.

But the beach is heaven and it's worth all the mosquitos in the world....or maybe not.

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