Beach Frenzie
We don't get much time off but I tell you this. It won't stop us from taking every minute we can to run down to the beach and throw ourselves into the ocean. It's amazing. Blue green waters, lovely waves, and tepid water.
No swimming date this morning but threw self into water at 4 in the morning anyway. The best way to wake up ever. For some reason the water was a bit chilly this morning (probably round 20 degrees so not complaining) but it brought a smile to my face just the same. Although did manage to fall asleep in Satsang two hours later. Do not think that this was because of bad start to morning. No some American man who has lived and travelled in india for many years and knows Sanskrit and has written a million books and translated the Baghavad Gita bla bla bla bla (his ego is bigger than any ego I have ever seen and yet he calls himself a yogi) is doing the Bhagavatam Sapta. Stories about Krishna. the same one I did in india two years ago that was so amazing. Was so excited about doing it again. That was before he started talking. Storytelling was turned into boring lecturing and reading paragraphs after paragraphs from his books. Felt guilty about being so negative towards this man who despite all is extremely knowledgable... but after discussing subject of lack of passion for the beautiful stories of Krishna with wonderful priest and new friend and where he said "Welll you know Shantu, these westerners don't always understand the way we Indians do" wobbling his head from side to side and smiling, I don't feel guilty. he sucks. But the good side of it was that I got a whole extra hour of sleep today. Yay. There is always something positive in everything.
Ok, off to boring Satsang again.
Me and Radha and Ganesha laughing
Me and Radha
New friend
We have most amazing little Indian man (who amazingly enough is shorter than me) who is so adorable. He has this cute huge belly, which most yogis tend to have. They say the wisdom lies in the belly but the truth is that they do so much bloody breathing exercises that they expand the darn thing and it never quite recuperates. Can relieve you by saying that breathing has not yet had that effect on me as it has only been a month. We will see in ten years. Anyway, back to priest and stop sidetracking (but oh how I love sidetracking). Priest is lovely and he lives in Swamijis house that I clean every day. As he has heard me and Ruth sing at the top of our lungs whilst cleaning, and knows how much I miss her (am now cleaning alone, singing alone, laughing and crying alone, during day and Ruth alone during night. But make sure to drop by once to pop head in and sing at least two verses of Govinda Jaya Jaya, Gopala Jaya Jaya). So today he gave me a huge smile when I arrived and started chanting the Maha Mantra (hare Krishna) forme at the top of his lungs. So we chanted together for half an hour while he was cooking and I was washing up. He is sooo cute. My new best friend, after Radha, and my dormgirlies, and Ruth, and Jeffrey....oh who needs lists anyway
PS. Priest can also do amazing scorpion but does not come close to looking like cute yoga guy. And for all of you fantasising about him, all I can say is, I'm glad some of us are cause I still am not.
Yoga flexibility
Today put both feet behind head and then balanced on arms. Think that I need to be put in mental hospital soon. This cannot be normal.
Short break
One week to go. Last Monday off. Next Monday will have to take final exam. This Monday off will be spent studying for exam. Studying on beach of course. Waves are super duper big now. Normally meet cute yoga guy on beach in morning and go for early morning swim before Pranayama class but today I stood back and watched this gorgeous soul conquer the fierceful ocean. Impressive. Me not as impressive running like a scared chicken from every wave that smashed down infront of feet. Feeling like a wimp on beach. Cute yoga guy obviously far too kind to say to my face that definately am mega whimp.
Radha asked me questions after reading my blog. Wondering why I hadn't told her about cute yoga guy. Obviously had not crossed mind that people might actually be reading this darn thing. So must add. Don't pay attention to anything I say. Most of it is bullocks and I am absolutely not fantasising about any cute yoga guy.
PS. Most fantastic yoga lesson ever this morning. Cute yoga guy best yoga teacher ever. :)
Cute yoga guy
Staying in an ashram and doing this course also means signing an agreement upon arrival where one promises to sustain from any kind of non ashram like behaviour. This means no smoking, no drinking and total Brahmacharya (basically no sex or any such activity). Luckily for me these were my New Years resolutions exactly. So when cute yoga guy (who also is amazing surfer and skater and has readily offered to rescue me in any water situation including sharkattack (how adorable is not that)) wanders around with his amazing tatoo filled arms I obviously don't turn my head 180 degrees just to get a peek. And his warm amazing smile doesn't make me smile twice as big...obviously not.
So the update as requested.
Yes we are on first name basis.
And no I am still not secretly fantasising about him (and I do not suspect that he suspects that that might be the case and I do not suspect that he secretly might not be fantasising about certain self either and that he suspects that self suspects the same).
PS. Tomorrow getting private yoga lesson from cute yoga guy :)
Who cares about moqsuitos
Have now made friends with mosquitos. They agree to only suck bare necessity amount of blood and I agree not to feel the itchiness by using highskill yoga meditation techniques where convinces self that self is not the body and can overcome all with help of mind. Have not yet reached state where self is not mind. But soon.
Mosquitos are back
So goodbye to cold wheather and hello to mosquito country.
Am now half eaten by moquitos and itching like crazy. Funny how has soon as one obstacle or misery in your life disappears, it is immediately replaced with a new one (why I am here, learning how to replace all miseries and obstacles with pure infinite bliss. I mean how hard can that really be. If I don't feel infinite bliss when going back home I'm asking for a full refund...:). Anyway, sidetracking a bit. Back to obstacles.
So first obstacle for meditation is of course knees that are not used to be crossed that many hours a day. Knees are now fine. Then hips start aching. Bend legs back and forth to finally manage to get both behind head and hipache disappears. Then comes cramps in feet after an hour of sitting in meditation pose. Still struggling with that and have to stretch legs every once in a while but getting better. Will come home and suggest to local courthouse that we have courtsessions sitting on floor with crosslegs. Maybe start by chanting to get everyone in good mood? Maybe not. Anyway, after sitting position comes the bloody thoughts that now are really bad. I mean I kind of managed calming them down but the last two days I actually think that my mind has been possessed and have no longer any control over it. I loose my keys ten times a day. I put my books down, turn around and walk away completely forgetting about them. I can barely remember my name (and will maybe be getting spiritual name at end of course which will make things even more complicated). I am just not functioning at all. (apparently this is normal for week three into the course and week four is supposedly called the week of bliss. I'll believe that when I see it. So you can imagine what meditation goes like. And then after the trillion thought waves that apparently are very obstinate, because the more you tell them not to think the more they are inclined to do so (think I might try the reverse tomorrow. Tricking this being who has possessed my brain). And now mosquitobites, that are killing me. Can't concentrbate, just want to scratch. Start scratching. Want to scratch more. Starts hurting. Still want to scratch more. Starts bleeding. Think that maybe better to stop scratching but only because of pouring blood. Still want to scratch.
But the beach is heaven and it's worth all the mosquitos in the world....or maybe not.
"
Anyone seen a cliff anywhere?
Found out that like of food not because of change in own attitude but change in head chef of kitchen.
Am now freakishly strong and bendy and wondering what two more weeks of this is going to do to me. Probably going to get physical withdrawal syndromes when back home.
Comparing the TTC to the ATTC I must s ay that this is a whole new league. I mean, the TTC was like primary school compared to this which is definitely some kind of super extra hard university level. I don't get it. I mean the philosophy part of it seemed simple at first but now so confused with the hundred different terms and subcategories and philosophy schools bla bla bla that want to jump off cliff....only there are no cliffs nor hills here...only flat sandy beaches (with the softest sand ever). And sanskrit that I cockily walked around thinking would be a piece of cake as I knew all the letters, suddenly turned out to be the language full of exceptions from the bloody rule. And anatomy. There was a reason I didn't want to become a bloody doctor and here I am studying bloody functions of the brain and neurons, cells, dendrites, synapses and what not. Yes, I am in studying hell right now.
Good news. Have found guitar that kind soul left behind so play guitar to relieve stress (what do you mean why don't I study instead?).
Girls dorm has turned into worst chatterbox dorm ever. Stomach hurting from last night laughter of fits from conversation of ashrams most forbidden topic...sex (gorgeous yoga guy is also musicien and has tatoo of skull on body....me definitely not in trouble....Me still not secretly fantasising about gorgeous yoga guy...not...not...not
Loving Paradise Island
So despite heavy schedule and surviving on five hours sleep (that is when we don't stay up and gossip half the night the four of us which happens pretty frequently and pisses our neighbours in the next door dorm off immensely) things are pretty bloody fantastic.
The weather has changed and the warm weather has finally come to Bahamas. This means that the free time in the afternoon (an hour between 1.30 and 2.30 p.m.) is spent on the most fantastic beach, swimming in warm turquoise waters with great waves to play in (ok fine, still scared of big waves and need Radha or Jeffrey to hold my hand in water when the bigger waves come in but get out alive every time!!!! ). Now that beats sitting in an Indian ashram, covered from head to toe in clothes in scorching hot, by far.
When it comes to the food I must admit that for some reason i'm loving it more and more. So I take back whatever I said earlier about it all tasting the same. I don't even use the chili I bought anymore, which must be the result of some smaller kind of miracle. What a sattvic life I live (still have stash of crisps under bed).
Karma yoga is fantastic. We sing at the top of our lungs all the chants we know (turns out that we only know three so alternate hoping that others will not get bored) while washing up, sweeping, mopping, cleaning and what not. Everyone is so kind and appreciative (but do not care about being appreciated. This is my karmayoga. That's all. I am true yogi. Not affected by other peoples gratitude).
Today I am going to get my horoscope done by a Vedic Astrologer. he is amazing. He did a lecture on vedic astrology the other day and it sounds amazing and scary, all at once. Not sure whether I want to know my future but know that I have no will power to NOT ask certain questions. Very very excited (and little little freaked out).
Me and Radha went into Nassau today. It's a true test leaving the ashram, throwing yourself head first into the real world. Cigarette smoke everywhere finding it's way into my nostrils (do not want to smoke. Do not want to smoke. Do not want to smoke) and the pace is of another world. I know that we leap from class to the next, stressed out about huge homework assignments to do in very little time and learning a whole new language in just a few weeks, but this was something else. I mean just the beat of the songs makes my brain want to jump out of my head. Boom boom boom. Mentally trying to hum Jaya Ganesha and feel Serene. Am true yogi. Am true yogi.Am true yogi.
And as the true yogi that I am I went on shopping spree on day off. Don't expect presents. They only have tacky souvenirs with Bahamas written on that cost a godzillion dollars or expensive Gucci bags. Have of course bought tacky souvenirs for self as i love tacky and souvenirs. Have also bought whole new wardrobe of underwear as my resolution to stay away from relationships (MEN!!!) means that I must need whole new energy in underwear draw and throw away all old underwear (obviously still not secretly fantasising about cute yoga guy who by the by seems to only get cuter by the day. Hmm, wonder if he would like my new underwear? I mean, I am true yogi, I only care about my practice. True yogi not fantasising about gorgeous lovely yoga guys with the most fantastic eyes ever).
Anyway, the whole course is really fantastic and working wonders. I have lost about ten years, gained about fifty grey hairs, not lost a pound (eating like a horse), advanced my yoga practice tremendously (have now no troubles balancing in Scorpion for longer period of time and am very proud), gotten over pain in knees, made lovely friends, laugh so much, smile even more and have no longer any reasons to cry (have let go of all painful memories and feel no longer attachment to anything. Am true yogi. Am true yogi. Am true yogi).
PS. Thinking that secret stash of junk food under bed, secret fantasies that am NOT having of cute yoga boy, constantly laughing and running around like lunatic and the fact that everyone else seems to be studying on our day off except me kind of gives a little hint that might not be a true yogi quite yet. But we are what we think we are so for now AM TRUE YOGI :)
Tsunami scare
Living in an ashram basically means being isolated from the outside world in every possible sense. So when the Swami announced last night that there had been a huge disaster, earthquake in Haiti and added that they put out a Tsunami warning on the Bahamas. But that they currently have suspended the warning for the time being.
It has resulted in everybody walking around today, pensive, slightly panicked but without showing it, wondering what the actual escape plan would look like. When one of the students asked the swami today if there would be some kind of information about what we should do in the event of a tsunami, he smiled and said "Of course" and then continued talking about Krishna. Thinking that praying to Krishna is the closest we are gonna get a salvation out of here if the big wave should hit.
When talking to Per on the phone (panicked for a second and thought maybe little brother could have been close to earthquake so phoned home. He is fine) he said to run far up on the beach. Feel the need to shortly explain what the surroundings look like. On one side of the ashram there is a big, where you arrive by tiny boat that takes maybe ten people to and from Nassau. Then comes ashram that leads to other side of island (takes about two minutes to walk from one side to the other, where there is beautiful beach. So nowhere real to run, unless maybe Atlantis would let us in (they have intentionally cut off all communications route to ashram cause pissed off that ashram wouldnt sell them their land so that they could build another tacky massive commercial casino).
Anyway, there will be no tsunami and that's what I wanted to say.
Lots of people got textmessages last night from worried friends and relatives asking how everything was.
I got none.
Thinking of maybe staying here forever.
Breakdown Breakthrough
I felt this morning in Pranayamaclass that something was different. I started feeling that I couldn't get air and felt panic inside. After class, sitting in Satsang, tears starting running down my cheaks, in an orderly and quiet fashion of course. Yoga class followed and everyone was doing Patchimotanasana, the forward bend. To most it is a fairly simple pose and for most can be held without really feeling any real discomfort. This position is my greatest enemy. I can easily get down into it but holding it for a lengthy period of time is agony. The teacher helps me come down further and I am now lying with my face buried in between my knees grasping for air, panicking, feeling anguish. "This is a position of surrender" she says.
It's funny how one can go through life convincing not only others that you're happy and strong and that you don't really need anyone but yourself, to the point where you actually believe it yourself.
I surrendered. I burst out crying and tried my best to do it in, as I said above, an orderly and quiet fashion. Not possible. I had to run out of the class, tears pouring out from every possible exit place and I totally surrendered to all my feelings that have been blocked, pushed down, hidden and not talked about. It wasn't crying. It was screaming it all out in tears. It has left me cleansed but feeling a bit vulnerable still. In a good way. It's the beginning of something new.
This is the beauty of the course. It's a psysical, emotional, psychological and spiritual detox and the outcome already feels amazing.
It's funny how one can go through life convincing not only others that you're happy and strong and that you don't really need anyone but yourself, to the point where you actually believe it yourself.
I surrendered. I burst out crying and tried my best to do it in, as I said above, an orderly and quiet fashion. Not possible. I had to run out of the class, tears pouring out from every possible exit place and I totally surrendered to all my feelings that have been blocked, pushed down, hidden and not talked about. It wasn't crying. It was screaming it all out in tears. It has left me cleansed but feeling a bit vulnerable still. In a good way. It's the beginning of something new.
This is the beauty of the course. It's a psysical, emotional, psychological and spiritual detox and the outcome already feels amazing.
Bahamas versus India
When doing the TTC the thing that worried me the most was only getting two meals a day. It turned out to be more than enough and I even think that I put on weight during the course. What worried me with this course was milnly the really early mornings and the one hour pranayama (breathing exercises) that we have to do. It turns out that this too is quite alright. The pranayama gives us so much energy for the rest of the day that there is no real need to sleep more than 5 hours a night. It is amazing what proper breathing can do. Anyway, thought now that I have a day off (we get one day off a week, Mondays, meaning form 12 til 8 p.m., the morning classes and evening Satsang are still mandatory) I'd giev you a general picture of life here in the ashram in the lovely Bahamas.
Wheather
Still bloody freezing. Last week went to buy socks. Woman behind the counter looked at me as if I spoke Chinese. "Socks? What you talking about dear" she answers with her Bahamian accent. Apparently this is the coldest whether they have had in over a decade. So cold that they even have to rescue the alligators because it is too cold for them. So the word socks doesn't really exist in this Caribbean part of the world where the wheather is supposed to be pleasnt all year round. As if!!! Have to put on layers of clothes here too. At least before going to India I was warned that it could be chilly (obvisouly thought they were exaggerating and obviously had never been to Sweden where the real cold exists. Ha, being too cocky is dangerous). So that concludes this part of it Bahamas 1 India 1.
Friends
Different people bring out different sides of you. Valentina (spiritual name Radha)comes from Venezuela. We hit it off from day one. And we are without doubt the giggliest pair of fourteenyearsolds you can find. I can't stop laughing around her and seem to do the same to her. Remember in school where you could laugh for hours about nothing, just looking at each other. Well that's where I am. So we have now created rules. We can not sit next to eachother in temple. Temple is time to contemplate, not laugh about our contemplations. But they say that laughing is the best yoga (or do they? Whatever). Conclusion. No need for alcohol anymore. Just bring Valentina with me all the time.
Cute boys
Contemplating self. Not relationships. Will not engage in such activity no more. It is not sattvic and only causes pain and suffering. From now on am working on detachment from self and especially men. PS. Am definately not secretly fantasising about gorgeous yoga guy who looks like a god in the Scorpion. I am devoted to my practice, nothing else.
Food
Without being to harsh and hard on the kitchen people who work hard at the brunch and dinner buffe, it tends to all taste the same after a while. I've bought chilipowder but when sneakily applying chili to my food I think back of the good old times where me and Nishad would sneak out to the market and buy fresh chilies. Miss Nishad, my favorite red Indian in the world :) The positives are that there is creamcheese and freshly baked bread, which definately is a luxury (and peanutbutter and jam for the Americans of course but not my thing really). So I indulge in creamcheese. They lack the lovely chai that they served us in India though. Hmmm. Think there might just be enough elements there for a tie between India and the Bahamas. Oh, almost forgot. Of course have non sattvic stash of crisps hidden under bed....and M&Ms for special occasions.
Smoking
Don't miss it at all!!! But found a "smoking" friend, a guy from Canada. We just found eachother when talking about smoking and realised that we have had similar smoking paths in our lives. It's amazing, I might not miss it but talking about smoking is like talking about an old friend and we both sit with smiles on our faces when we do. Sad! I know. And I can hear Per huffing and puffing when reading this thinking how ridiculous this sounds. But that's the life of a smoker, rather pathetic and absolutly fantasticly wonderful :) But proud to say that haven't smoked for now 10 days!!! Am true yogi! (well, that can be discussed but whatever).
Beach
Beach is beautiful but view is destroyed by horrible fivestar Atlantis that seems to be the ashrams yogavacationers favorite hideaway (they talk about Starbucks and spaas and other such things. Me not interested. Although have heard about their amazing waterslides and feeling tempted on next day off).
Special celebrations at ashram
So yesterday was big day at ashram. After satsang Swami Goodlooking (Brahmananda) gets up and looks like a child at Christmas. Has a huge grun on his face and then announces the birthday of one of the yogis. In comes a huge chocolatecake (could you expect anything else?) and everyone starts singing "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear blabla, Happy birthday to you". Hang on. Then comes the lovely second verse. May you realise the Self, May you realise the Self. May you realise the Self in this very birth". Then hundred yogapeople hovered over chocolate cake. Also, same cake served for breakfast. Many strange looks when explain that don't like cake and prefer to just eat my lentil soup and creamcheese.
Satsang
I love satsang. I love the singing. Can't believe that I thought it was so boring when younger. Must now be fully mature or something (ha, as if). They also have lost of instruments that we can play if we want so have started off gently with maracas and triangle. I say gently although I must say that 25 minuted of playing the maracas during Jaya Ganesha did worse stuff to the muscles in my arms than standing in the bloody Scorpion does. Some night guest lecturers come and talk. Some amazing. Yesterday Leslie something (I'd love to namedrop him as he is apparently very famous but me and names and don't really care. Am not identifying with self remember) talked about life and the life after death. Tonight he is going to talk again. Apparently going to teach us ("it's a piece of cake" as he himself out it) how to see people who have died threedimensionally and communicate with them. Am very excited!!!
The animal Kingdom
Standing in the bathroom the other morning and huge lizard decides that my head would be a nice place to sit. Normally we have beel to wake up people. I took it as my personal responsibility to wake everyone up with my screaming. Highly appreciated :)
Also have done washing up in beehive without beehive protectionuniform (do not know name but it pretty much paints the picture) as part of karmayoga. Have to clean kitchen in Swamijees house as part of karmayoga and when arriving the other morning, hundreds of wasps had decided to reside in the kitchen. But duty must be done and if dishes aren't washed I will be sent to yogahell. So me did duty without getting stung. Face your fears!!! I am Superwasp woman!
Classes
It's a tough schedule and beats the TTC with lengths. There is no time for much else at all. We have two yoga classes a day, an hour of pranayama, an hour of Karmayoga, Anatomy class, then Sanskrit Class with is alternated with Rajayoga class and finally Vedanta philosophy class. Satsang two hours in the morning and two hours at night. You get the picture. And on top of that two separate written assignments to hand in everyday. And I'm still alive!!! And love it! The best of all (which I didn't know prior to coming) is that before the month is over we are supposed to be able to both read and write sanskrit. Can you believe that? I can't. But slowly getting there. Can now at least write 6 letters.
Feels like I haven't even touched upon the important things so will do that now
Love Love Love
and nothing else matters
Wheather
Still bloody freezing. Last week went to buy socks. Woman behind the counter looked at me as if I spoke Chinese. "Socks? What you talking about dear" she answers with her Bahamian accent. Apparently this is the coldest whether they have had in over a decade. So cold that they even have to rescue the alligators because it is too cold for them. So the word socks doesn't really exist in this Caribbean part of the world where the wheather is supposed to be pleasnt all year round. As if!!! Have to put on layers of clothes here too. At least before going to India I was warned that it could be chilly (obvisouly thought they were exaggerating and obviously had never been to Sweden where the real cold exists. Ha, being too cocky is dangerous). So that concludes this part of it Bahamas 1 India 1.
Friends
Different people bring out different sides of you. Valentina (spiritual name Radha)comes from Venezuela. We hit it off from day one. And we are without doubt the giggliest pair of fourteenyearsolds you can find. I can't stop laughing around her and seem to do the same to her. Remember in school where you could laugh for hours about nothing, just looking at each other. Well that's where I am. So we have now created rules. We can not sit next to eachother in temple. Temple is time to contemplate, not laugh about our contemplations. But they say that laughing is the best yoga (or do they? Whatever). Conclusion. No need for alcohol anymore. Just bring Valentina with me all the time.
Cute boys
Contemplating self. Not relationships. Will not engage in such activity no more. It is not sattvic and only causes pain and suffering. From now on am working on detachment from self and especially men. PS. Am definately not secretly fantasising about gorgeous yoga guy who looks like a god in the Scorpion. I am devoted to my practice, nothing else.
Food
Without being to harsh and hard on the kitchen people who work hard at the brunch and dinner buffe, it tends to all taste the same after a while. I've bought chilipowder but when sneakily applying chili to my food I think back of the good old times where me and Nishad would sneak out to the market and buy fresh chilies. Miss Nishad, my favorite red Indian in the world :) The positives are that there is creamcheese and freshly baked bread, which definately is a luxury (and peanutbutter and jam for the Americans of course but not my thing really). So I indulge in creamcheese. They lack the lovely chai that they served us in India though. Hmmm. Think there might just be enough elements there for a tie between India and the Bahamas. Oh, almost forgot. Of course have non sattvic stash of crisps hidden under bed....and M&Ms for special occasions.
Smoking
Don't miss it at all!!! But found a "smoking" friend, a guy from Canada. We just found eachother when talking about smoking and realised that we have had similar smoking paths in our lives. It's amazing, I might not miss it but talking about smoking is like talking about an old friend and we both sit with smiles on our faces when we do. Sad! I know. And I can hear Per huffing and puffing when reading this thinking how ridiculous this sounds. But that's the life of a smoker, rather pathetic and absolutly fantasticly wonderful :) But proud to say that haven't smoked for now 10 days!!! Am true yogi! (well, that can be discussed but whatever).
Beach
Beach is beautiful but view is destroyed by horrible fivestar Atlantis that seems to be the ashrams yogavacationers favorite hideaway (they talk about Starbucks and spaas and other such things. Me not interested. Although have heard about their amazing waterslides and feeling tempted on next day off).
Special celebrations at ashram
So yesterday was big day at ashram. After satsang Swami Goodlooking (Brahmananda) gets up and looks like a child at Christmas. Has a huge grun on his face and then announces the birthday of one of the yogis. In comes a huge chocolatecake (could you expect anything else?) and everyone starts singing "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear blabla, Happy birthday to you". Hang on. Then comes the lovely second verse. May you realise the Self, May you realise the Self. May you realise the Self in this very birth". Then hundred yogapeople hovered over chocolate cake. Also, same cake served for breakfast. Many strange looks when explain that don't like cake and prefer to just eat my lentil soup and creamcheese.
Satsang
I love satsang. I love the singing. Can't believe that I thought it was so boring when younger. Must now be fully mature or something (ha, as if). They also have lost of instruments that we can play if we want so have started off gently with maracas and triangle. I say gently although I must say that 25 minuted of playing the maracas during Jaya Ganesha did worse stuff to the muscles in my arms than standing in the bloody Scorpion does. Some night guest lecturers come and talk. Some amazing. Yesterday Leslie something (I'd love to namedrop him as he is apparently very famous but me and names and don't really care. Am not identifying with self remember) talked about life and the life after death. Tonight he is going to talk again. Apparently going to teach us ("it's a piece of cake" as he himself out it) how to see people who have died threedimensionally and communicate with them. Am very excited!!!
The animal Kingdom
Standing in the bathroom the other morning and huge lizard decides that my head would be a nice place to sit. Normally we have beel to wake up people. I took it as my personal responsibility to wake everyone up with my screaming. Highly appreciated :)
Also have done washing up in beehive without beehive protectionuniform (do not know name but it pretty much paints the picture) as part of karmayoga. Have to clean kitchen in Swamijees house as part of karmayoga and when arriving the other morning, hundreds of wasps had decided to reside in the kitchen. But duty must be done and if dishes aren't washed I will be sent to yogahell. So me did duty without getting stung. Face your fears!!! I am Superwasp woman!
Classes
It's a tough schedule and beats the TTC with lengths. There is no time for much else at all. We have two yoga classes a day, an hour of pranayama, an hour of Karmayoga, Anatomy class, then Sanskrit Class with is alternated with Rajayoga class and finally Vedanta philosophy class. Satsang two hours in the morning and two hours at night. You get the picture. And on top of that two separate written assignments to hand in everyday. And I'm still alive!!! And love it! The best of all (which I didn't know prior to coming) is that before the month is over we are supposed to be able to both read and write sanskrit. Can you believe that? I can't. But slowly getting there. Can now at least write 6 letters.
Feels like I haven't even touched upon the important things so will do that now
Love Love Love
and nothing else matters
Meditation is not what we think
My knees are hurting.
My thoughts are going all over the place.
I try not to think.
The power of thinking is too strong for me.
But slowly slowly getting there.
Leave my mother alone
Just a short note to those of you including self who keep on bothering mother about her eating sweets. I now have the answer why.
Apparently it is not only her. It is a totally legitimate and worldwide accepted fact that if you are a true yogi then sweets is the way to go.
You should see the, as soon as the kitchen bring out a new treat or the ashram has a sweet prasad instead of the traditional fruits, they are all over them like a hoard of animals. Didn't really get to see it that much in India, as there were not too many treats. But here it is every day. And everyday the same routine, drop all you are carrying, throw yourself with head first toward the person holding the tray with the chocolate buns, or cakes or chocolate balls. Do not at any time pay any attention to any person who might be affected by your desperation. The most important thing is that you get out of there with a sweet in your hand...and alive.
So next time you see mother at a birthday party throwing herself over the bowl of sweets, remember, this is a yogic thing to do. And can you blame them, they've had to give up everything else.
PS. Body aching all over (not from throwing self over sweetbowl, as not yet my cup of tea. But who knows what group pressure can get you to do) and feeling great/. Sun out for first time and warm in garden but windy on beach. I will come back with a tan so help me god.
OPS. Mamma jag alskar dig!!!
Wifi low fi hi fi Who fi?
Honestly, somebody buy me a new dictionary because my old school dictionary, that's loves words such as vinyl and video, can't keep up with the new language. So I actually did go onto the ashram website before coming (the night before to not loose my image as going with the flow with no course or plan. The website reads something about wifi. I obviously do not pay any attention to these short abbreviations which probably is some kind of yogic term for do's and don'ts. Hmmm. Not so much. Arrive at the ashram and half of the bloody people are sitting in the garden with laptops surfing the net. Wifi, for those of you who don't know, means something like free internet access for those of you who were smart enough to bring your computer instead of leaving in home alone to collect dust.
So here I am, in the garden, with a borrowed computer, updating this blog.
Tonight we have our inauguration. Tomorrow we start at 4 in the morning.
Pirate in the Caribbean
After what felt like a hundred hours of travelling, almost stripsearched before boarding plane to Chicago, stuck in stupid Miami for over eight hours unvountarily (delayed flight) silently panicking over how to get to yogaashram at 3 a.m. in the morning, I have arriived! Sharing room with hardworking and oh so friendly semi Indiangirl from Amsterdam, Sharmila. So there we are, in our respective bunkbeds, in a cosy wooden hut surrounded by palmtrees and fountains in a beautiful garden where the trees are decorated with little christmas lights all year round, two semi Indiangirls waiting for the hardships of the ATTC (Advanced teachers training course) to begin. It begins on Wednesday morning. Til then it is called a yoga vacation. Yoga vacation means that the only things we are required to do is four hours meditation and satsang a day and four hours yogaclasses a day. Piece of cake :)The rest of the activities (and there are quite a few) are voluntary. This is until wednesday. The ATTC gives us no such freedom.
After the TTC in India, the freezing cold, the attacking monkeys and the tempting bazarshopping, I deciding to do the ATTC in a far warmer place. The Bahamas. With far less temptning shopping and no monkeys stealing what you have. So here I am. In god damn fucking freezing Bahamas (ok, fine, not freezing like Sweden but definately not not freezing like it should be in the Carribean) I couldn't believe it. Not only is it freezing but I was so sure that it would be hot (had done research night before on Internet) that all my warm clothes are left at home. And since I knew that we would only be allowed to where our uniforms during the course I decided to basically eliminate any other clothing. So when it comes from getting away from tempting bazarshopping, here I am, in Nassau, forced to go clothshopping. Shopping list: socks, more socks, warm socks, long sleeve t-shirts (as I brought none), longsleeve jumper (as I brought none). The good news is there is hot water. Plenty of it. Bahamas 1. India 0.
The ashram is situated on Paradise Island, a boatride from Nassau and isolated from everything but a five star hotel a tenminute walk away. It's right on a beatiful beach and yesterday afternoon, lying on the beach, fully dressed, with warm blanket over, the sun decided to come out and warm my face. It was lovely. I imagined myself dressedin a bikini on the Bahamas as I closed my eyes...I mean...Oh yeah, I AM on the bloody Bahamas.
It sounds more exotic than it is. I mean the beaches are gorgeous and the people extremely friendly (cabdriver for example refused to drop me alone in dark alley by dock waiting for boat to pick me up as it was 3a.m. in the morning. Me more than grateful) but it's polluted by the worst kind...the boatcruising American kind. Huge cruiseships lay by the bay and hoards of people rushing out of the boats into the nearest pub (???cause they don't have pubs on the boats???). Anyway, can't really say so much more as I've only been here for two days and spent most of the time preparing myself mentally and psysically for coming yoga challenge (and trying to keep nice and peaceful even though Americans are driving me insane even within the ashram)
New Years Resolutions
My resolutions are going more than fine. Being subject to cigarettesmoke here in Nassau gives me a little reminder and I can feel my lungs craving for a second. But willpower is stronger and not going to give in this time. Not missing coffee the least but then again I only like coffee cause of the cigarettes really. Hmm....talking about cigarettes makes me miss it....I mean willpower is everything.... shit
As for my promise to my mother, my sister, Carolina and Lina....not to fall inlove with handsome yogaguy who lives on other side of the world....all I can say is.....haha...you'll see in February if I come back alone or not ;) (PS. There are tonnes of them...cute yogaguys from the other side of the world)
Anyway, no Internet on the island so I will not be updating this blog frequently. Maybe just this once. Maybe more. Depends on everything. But for now just wanted to let you all know that all is fine.
After the TTC in India, the freezing cold, the attacking monkeys and the tempting bazarshopping, I deciding to do the ATTC in a far warmer place. The Bahamas. With far less temptning shopping and no monkeys stealing what you have. So here I am. In god damn fucking freezing Bahamas (ok, fine, not freezing like Sweden but definately not not freezing like it should be in the Carribean) I couldn't believe it. Not only is it freezing but I was so sure that it would be hot (had done research night before on Internet) that all my warm clothes are left at home. And since I knew that we would only be allowed to where our uniforms during the course I decided to basically eliminate any other clothing. So when it comes from getting away from tempting bazarshopping, here I am, in Nassau, forced to go clothshopping. Shopping list: socks, more socks, warm socks, long sleeve t-shirts (as I brought none), longsleeve jumper (as I brought none). The good news is there is hot water. Plenty of it. Bahamas 1. India 0.
The ashram is situated on Paradise Island, a boatride from Nassau and isolated from everything but a five star hotel a tenminute walk away. It's right on a beatiful beach and yesterday afternoon, lying on the beach, fully dressed, with warm blanket over, the sun decided to come out and warm my face. It was lovely. I imagined myself dressedin a bikini on the Bahamas as I closed my eyes...I mean...Oh yeah, I AM on the bloody Bahamas.
It sounds more exotic than it is. I mean the beaches are gorgeous and the people extremely friendly (cabdriver for example refused to drop me alone in dark alley by dock waiting for boat to pick me up as it was 3a.m. in the morning. Me more than grateful) but it's polluted by the worst kind...the boatcruising American kind. Huge cruiseships lay by the bay and hoards of people rushing out of the boats into the nearest pub (???cause they don't have pubs on the boats???). Anyway, can't really say so much more as I've only been here for two days and spent most of the time preparing myself mentally and psysically for coming yoga challenge (and trying to keep nice and peaceful even though Americans are driving me insane even within the ashram)
New Years Resolutions
My resolutions are going more than fine. Being subject to cigarettesmoke here in Nassau gives me a little reminder and I can feel my lungs craving for a second. But willpower is stronger and not going to give in this time. Not missing coffee the least but then again I only like coffee cause of the cigarettes really. Hmm....talking about cigarettes makes me miss it....I mean willpower is everything.... shit
As for my promise to my mother, my sister, Carolina and Lina....not to fall inlove with handsome yogaguy who lives on other side of the world....all I can say is.....haha...you'll see in February if I come back alone or not ;) (PS. There are tonnes of them...cute yogaguys from the other side of the world)
Anyway, no Internet on the island so I will not be updating this blog frequently. Maybe just this once. Maybe more. Depends on everything. But for now just wanted to let you all know that all is fine.
